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Increasing a Marriage’s Longevity

More people are waiting until later in life to get married and less people are getting married overall. Divorce rates have also been high for the past four or so decades. In spite of this, those in love often walk down the aisle with strong optimism that they will beat the odds. Along the way, many marriages hit rocky roads, and how couples handle these situations will decide the marriage’s longevity. So, can marriage counseling help? Well, it depends.

  • Is the Feeling Mutual?

    When both parties want to save a marriage, the chances of working things out are high. However, when one party already has a foot out the door, the couple’s chance of making it together plummets. This is the case even with marriage counseling. Counseling can help a couple work through problems together; however, a counselor has no power to make someone want to stay or change.

  • Has Someone Been Unfaithful?

    If one or both parties have had an affair, the trust in the marriage has deteriorated. However, it can be rebuilt. Many couples bounce back from unfaithfulness, though this is perhaps one of the most difficult betrayals a marriage can recover from. Counseling can help both parties to talk through the problems that led to one party “stepping out”, as well as charting the way forward.

  • Is the Passion Gone?

    Not all marriages come to a bitter and angry end. Often times, the passion fizzles out and the couple remains together to raise the kids, while living very much like roommates. These couples are just as likely to eventually call a divorce attorney as other couples who are facing more difficult problems once the kids are off to college. When the passion is gone, it’s nearly impossible to stay together.

If the Inevitable Happens, Strive to Move On

Filing for divorce was the wake-up call for many husbands or wives who merely assumed their partners would stick around. In these instances, marriage counselling often helped them prove their commitment to change. However, if your partner is truly set on leaving, this may very well be the dismal end. Once the marriage ends, a troubled divorcee can seek counseling to help cope with the process of moving on.